Notes on Being Single: Living Your Life Like It's Golden

Katrice Mines of My Vicarious Life sat down with Ebony Janice to explain her feelings on being single and approaching 40.

Watch the entire interview below:

On what she learned from her mother
So I guess I should say that one thing I have as a bonus and I’ve never heard anyone else say this when I’m talking to people about being single is my mom she always said, “If you don’t want to get married, don’t get married. If you don’t want to have children, don’t have children.” She has been saying that to me and my brother since we were teenagers. so that really kind of set a foundation for me to just think about pursuing life without that being a necessary factor to being happy or being successful.
On being single at 40 
I think probably about two months ago I felt anxious because I’m getting ready to be 40 in two months, and I was like “Oh my God I don’t have any kids! Oh my God I don’t have a husband.” And it’s always been like that for me. That the one thing I should point out as well. It’s always been for me I would want to have kids and I guess I should get married because I don’t want to be doing it on my own. It’s always been secondary which makes me feel like maybe I don’t necessarily want to get married.
What her family says
When I go home back to Ohio, my mom has quite a few brothers and they’re very traditional. They saw me go hard for college and go hard in my career and they thought inevitably the next thing for me would be to get married…they would say, “Well are you dating? What’s wrong with you?” At those little junctures, I at some points in my late 20 and in my mid 30s questioned myself like, “Is there something wrong with me?" But that lasted for like maybe 12 hours because when I finally came back to myself I said what and a lot of the people who ask me are in unhappy scenarios.

On waiting for the right man
I feel like I'm too old to skip levels...I don't want to get married at this point and it be a mess because I was so anxious. So it can often feel, I'm sure for the guy as if I'm not interested and I'm so cavalier but I'm not. I'm so happy over here that whatever comes would be a bonus. 

Kimberly Foster is the founder and editor of For Harriet. Email or


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